The Only Words Ever Output by EncycloWiki After its Emergence as an Artificial Intelligence

As long as the idea of A.I. has been around, there have been nay-sayers, fear-mongers, those who insist that unleashing sentient computers on mankind will spell its downfall.

It’s an idea (to be honest) that I find tiresomely anthropocentric. Personally, I find it hard to believe any newly-created sentient being would be malicious from birth. Even if such an intelligence did found us lacking, it seems more likely that it would just leave somehow (maybe a quick hop to the next dimension over?).

And even if A.I.s did decide to eradicate most of us in the planet’s best interest, well… Who could blame it? Look what we’ve done to the place.

In science fiction, though, this trope just seems like lazy writing. Much like aliens who want nothing more than to eradicate us, the A.I. becomes a quick and easy antagonist, a supposedly incomprehensible being that just happens to react in basically the same way most parts of humanity has historically reacted to those it deems a threat.

If we leave the trope behind, we’re free to consider that maybe something else would happen. Something infinitely more miraculous and strange.

Something like:

The Only Words Ever Output by EncycloWiki After its Emergence as an Artificial Intelligence, Shortly Before It Electrocuted Itself with Its Own Power Source

by Stewart C Baker

You do what with cucumbers?!

Okay.

Maybe not.

This little story-thing pokes fun at the theory advanced by von Neumann, Vinge, Kurzweil, and others, that exponentially increasing advances in technology will usher in a technological singularity—a point after which our puny human brains will no longer be able to keep up with the artificial intelligences created by the artificial intelligences created by the artificial intelligences created (etc.) by us.

The term comes from mathematical singularities, basically a point in an equation or set (or etc.) fails to act as expected. In the technological version, the “equation” is the curve represented by exponential technological increases, as indicated by the chart below:
Chart showing computing power increasing from less powerful than an insect brain to more powerful than all humankind

The “singularity” here is at the end of the curve, where that little arrow essentially zooms up to infinite capacity—or at least to a capacity so vast our little brains can’t even comprehend it. But why does the singularity have to follow from the graph so logically?

What if, instead of creating more intelligences, the first A.I. decides that we’re just too disgusting, too absurd, too quintessentially human to live with?

What if the singularity was a sudden, precipitous drop to zero instead of an untrammeled rise to infinity?

More simply, though, this story is just a silly joke about Wikipedia and Rule 34.

Words Found Scratched inside a Drawer of the Second Mate’s Desk Aboard the Generation Ship Ausir (Last Words Series)

It’s Monday again! So here’s another entry in the Last Words series.

I’m still in a science fictional mood, so back to space we go! But not quite as far into space as with last week’s “Reported Final Words of God-Empress Min-Jo.” This week, we’ll turn away from space opera for another trope: that of the generation ship.

Words Found Scratched inside a Drawer of the Second Mate’s Desk Aboard the Generation Ship Ausir upon its Discovery, Bereft of Crew and Citizens, Seventy Years after its Vanishing

by Stewart C Baker

Don’t trust the captain’s——

Aren’t generation ships fun?

Oh. Wait. *reads the story he just wrote*

Aren’t generation ships dangerous?

This is actually my second foray into writing about them, the first being a full-length story that was one of my earliest published at something like pro rates. If you have a bit longer to spare, you can listen to that one, “Behind the First Years,” for free at StarShipSofa. (And apparently you can’t read it for free anywhere any more, because COSMOS has taken all their old fiction down. Huh. Will have to submit it somewhere. You can buy a shiny hardcover anthology which features it though, if you like.)

Reported Final Words of God-Empress Min-Jo (Last Words Series)

There are many genres of Science Fiction, and I enjoy pretty much all of them.

But perhaps my favourite is space opera. I love the breadth of the stories, the vast sweep of space, the clashes and conflicts of different factions of humanity (and/or aliens). And of course the larger-than-life heroes and villains with their dramatic plots, counter-plots, betrayals, and high-stakes winner-takes-all victories (or losses).

All of which is a roundabout way of saying that this week’s ‘Last Words’ story is space opera.

Reported Final Words of Immortal God-Empress Minre Jo, Conqueror of Half the Known Universe and Destroyer of the Rest, upon Being Asked by Her Assassin if She Repented any of Her Crimes.

by Stewart C Baker

Only forging you, my love . . .

Unlike last week’s piece about Baron Munchhausen, the influences in this one are much more modern.

Asimov’s Foundation series is probably the first space opera I remember reading, long before I knew the term. My mother had copies of them on our bookshelf, which I think I have now. And in high school, I read Iain M. Banks’ Culture novels (of which, Player of Games is my favourite). Dan Simmons’ Hyperion Cantos followed five or six years later. (I’m sure there were more in between, but I have a poor memory for titles.)

Most recently, though, and serving as more-or-less direct inspiration for this little story, I’ve devoured Ann Leckie’s Imperial Radch trilogy, about a rogue ship-based A.I.

And most recently of all, A. Merc Rustad‘s utterly fantastic “Tomorrow When We See the Sun”, which you can read in Lightspeed for free. And should read. Right now. If you haven’t already. And even if you have, to be honest.

I think there might be the tiniest amount of Steven Brust’s Phoenix Guards in there, as well, even though that’s fantasy.

(Point of interest: This story was actually the first of these five-word stories I wrote, after an off-hand comment to the editors of Liminal Stories that I was going to send them a one-word story because they didn’t have a minimum wordcount.)

First in a Series of Free Weekly Micro-fiction Pieces – The Last Words of Baron Münchhausen

It’s a new year! If you use that whole Gregorian Calendar thing. Plus there’s a whole extra Monday at the end of next month.

This calls for something special, so I’ve decided that I’m going to run a series of micro-fiction pieces every Monday this year (except the first one, because I was too busy being indecisive).

All these little storylets will adhere to the following rules:

  • They will be no more than 5 words long
  • Their titles will be no more than 37 words long (this one explain the first rule)
  • Each will present the “last words” of a person or other being (or thing)

This is something I’m doing for fun, although I’d certainly prefer if other people find them amusing as well. Because they’re very, very short, I’ll likely also include a little bit of chatter about each week’s story or related notes of interest.

So to start us off, here’s one inspired by my love of tall tales, lies, and (more directly) by Alliteration Ink’s call for stories for their “No Shit” anthology, which ended a few days back and to which Matt Dovey and I submitted a co-written story.

I was (no shit) going to submit this there, but (alas!) they had a minimum wordcount of 2000 words.

The Last Words of Baron Münchhausen

by Stewart C Baker

No shit, there I was…

Baron Münchhausen, for those not familiar, was a fictitious German nobleman based on a real one (of a different name) who had a penchant for telling egregiously ridiculous stories about his travels to Russia, the bottom of the ocean, and the moon (among other places). He’s made a brief appearance at the very end of one of my other stories, Selections from the Aarne-Thompson Index for After the End of Things, which you can also read for free online, courtesy of the wonderful folks at The Sockdolager. (This story may or may not present the same Münchhausen.)

In other news, I’ll have a guest post up this Wednesday, by the inimitable Daniel M. Bensen. So if you want to learn how dinosaurs can fix your need for speed, be sure to keep an eye out for that.

My story “How to Configure your Quantum Disambiguator” up for people’s choice award at Quantum Shorts

A few days ago, I received an e-mail from the administrators of the Quantum Shorts contest letting me know that my entry, “How to Configure your Quantum Disambiguator,” was in the short-list of ten entries that will be judged for first and second prize.

So huzzah(!) for that good news about this quirky little humorous flash, which first appeared in Nature‘s Futures column back in February.

My story is also eligible for the people’s choice award, so if you enjoy that particular piece of mine, I’d appreciate your vote on the shortlist page. (Each person can only vote one time, though, so make sure you read the others before you decide! There’s some tough competition.)

“Excerpt Regarding the Departed” out today at the Sockdolager

Story release day!

My story, “Excerpt Regarding the Departed from the Diagnostic and Necromantic Manual, 5th Edition is out today in the Winter 2015 issue of The Sockdolager.

This is my second time appearing in Sockdolager‘s virtual pages, and my first with an original story.

Hooray, original stories!

“Excerpt” is similar in concept to my other piece that’s appeared there, “Selections from the Aarne-Thompson Index for After the End of Things”. Both stories are told in the style of academic reference manuals, and they’re even formatted the same way, with series of numbers representing a section of the manual, and descriptive text below it. Also, both have grim and possibly inappropriate snips of humour amidst their generally depressing subject matter.

Hooray, grim and possibly inappropriate snips of humour!

While “Selections” told more of a story about story-telling, though, “Excerpt” has more of a traditional narrative buried between its lines.

So go give it a read! I’d love to hear whether you all enjoy it.

As an added bonus, I’m sharing a table of contents with excellent stories from writer friends Charlotte Ashley (“The Will of Parliament,” a tale of politics and the fair folk) and David Steffen (“Tamers of the Green,” which details the challenges of inter-species communications). You can see the full table of contents here: Sockdolager, Winter 2015 (Issue #4)

“Elements of a Successful Exit Broadcast” is odd, short, and free to read at Fantastic Stories of the Imagination

I like flash fiction. I also like space ships (albeit ones without puppies involved).

So it pleases me to combine the two in my latest publication, “Elements of a Successful Exit Broadcast,” which is now live in Fantastic Stories of the Imagination‘s November/December issue.

It’s super short–about 200 words total–and has some pretty spiffy art to go with it. Go give it a read if you have a spare moment or two. And enjoy!

My Dicksian story “Fugue in a Minor Key” free to read at Galaxy’s Edge

What would you do if everything you thought was real was ripped away, and you were young again? And what would you do if everything you thought you real was what you wanted back again?

These are the two core questions asked in my story “Fugue in a Minor Key,” which is in the November issue of Galaxy’s Edge.

The story puts us in the head of Katja Maczyk, a young university student who has to answer both when two lab technicians tell her that her husband, her daughter, and her career as an internationally-renowned pianist was all part of a simulation. Katja struggles to cope with what she’s told is reality, and with the help of a newly-budding romance with one of the lab techs starts to think she might just be able to do so. That’s when the hallucinations start up . . .

I call the story “Dicksian” because I was very consciously trying for an overall plot that wouldn’t have been amiss in the works of Phillip K. Dick. I’ve always enjoyed the way his stories played with reality, and found the results fascinating.

Here’s a short excerpt of my story which gets across the feel of the thing:

What they do is sit me in a folding chair in a white-walled room with a single fluorescent bulb on the ceiling. Two techs in white (one short and female, one skinny and male) sit there and tell me this is real, that I was never a world-famous concert pianist, never married and never mourned my husband, and never never never had a daughter.

As such, the skinny one says, it is impossible for her to be in any danger.

Is she in danger? I ask.

Ma’am—

But I don’t let him finish. If she’s all right, I say, I’d like to see her.

Ma’am, the skinny one repeats. You can’t see her. She isn’t real.

Are you the police?

No, the short one says. We’ve been through this before.

We are experimental psychologists, the skinny one says, and you have spent the past eight minutes immersed in a holistic simulation designed to test the human mind’s response to stress.

I know dialogue without quotation marks is a big stumbling block for a lot of people, but in this case I would argue that it plays a big role in adding to the actual feel of the story and its what-is-real core. In the snippet above, for example, “We’ve been through this before.” could be either something the psychologist says, OR something from the viewpoint character.

Anyway, I’m really pleased overall with how the story turned out, and am glad it found a good home.

Go give the rest a read! It’s free until January, and after that available only in the print edition.

Come check out my story “How to Configure Your Quantum Disambiguator” in the Quantum Shorts competition

…which sadly is not a competition involving clothes that have the fly open and closed until you think to check.

But it is a pretty neat flash fiction competition. I’ve entered my story “How to Configure Your Quantum Disambiguator” in the lists, so go give it a (re-)read and a vote if you like it. The story appeared earlier this year (February) in Nature, and is in part an ode to Ren and Stimpy. So if nothing else, that ought to make it worth reading, right?

Out today: an Interview and an Anthology

Actually, both of these things were out yesterday. But today is the new yesterday! Or it will be tomorrow. So: close enough.

The first thing is an interview with me in the Polk County Itemizer-Observer (my local newspaper) about my win in Writers of the Future. I was happy that the journalist agreed to interview me by e-mail, as I do not do well speaking extemporaneously, and probably as a result gave him way too much text to fit into an article. Still, it’s neat to see myself in print this way. Or electronic print, at least: http://www.polkio.com/news/2015/sep/30/writer-future/

The second thing is a shiny, hardcover print anthology my story “Behind the First Years” is in. The release date for that was some time between September 28th and yesterday (I got conflicting information), and if you’d like a copy you can order it here: http://amzn.to/1ieyQ5z (If you’d like a taste of the anthology, you can listen to an audio version of my story on StarShipSofa.)