One Does Not Simply Fry

by Stewart C Baker and James Beamon



(Content notes: swearing, comic violence, occasional adult themes)
 
An onion ring floats on a black background, with a glowing orange eye staring out from the center

Cover image based on "Ring of Fire" by Brunello Panucci (used under a CC-BY license), plus a CC-0 picture of onion rings.

One Ring of onion and flour, One Ring that's frying,
One Ring to bring them all, and to the menu bind them...


It's the Great Godstone Fry-Off, and Tira Misu has gathered chefs and celebrities from all the Twelve Mostly Civilized Realms for a no-holds-barred cooking challenge at the base of Mount Boom.

Face off against the likes of Marcher, Argyle the Chefromancer, Sour Ron, Friar Fryest, and a surprisingly skilled loaf of bread. Choose between four playable characters, with tactics including confusion, violence, sabotage, bribery, and even (to everybody's lasting shock) actual cooking!

No matter what approach you take, you'll face stiff competition as tensions rise and fall around you like overmixed pancake batter. Will you craft the perfect Ring of Onion and usher in a new age of peace, prosperity, and delicious crispiness—or fall to the black eyeliner and fiery theatrics of Másgoth, the mostly-vanquished ancient godking bent on sending all the Realms hurtling back to the Worst Age?


Released October 1, 2023 for IFcomp. The first playthrough takes roughly 30-45 minutes, depending on your reading speed. Playing through a couple of times is recommended for the full Fry-Off experience!

Liked this game? You might also enjoy The Bread Must Rise, a 450,000-word interactive comedy/fantasy/baking/eldritch horror novel by the same authors. Available now in the Choice of Games store, as well as on Steam, App Store, Google Play, and Amazon!